Okay. This is how it started….
About four years ago I joined the Red Faction clan “D.a.w.G” Now that I think of it. I can’t remember for my life what it stands for. There were a lot of cool people in it and they asked me to join. There I learned the way of the above average Red Faction player.
No amps, hmg, etc.
However… the choice of my character would lead me down an uncontrollable lie that I have successfully carried for about four years now. I chose the female miner in the red suit. Personally, I think this was very beautiful. That’s why I chose her. That’s the ONLY reason I chose her. My intentions were to just have fun.
I had the name Zak (D.a.w.G) obviously I was a guy, right? Well, clan members started asking “Dude are you a girl?” I said yes. I honestly didn’t think they were serious. I mean, why would my name be Zak if I were a girl? How could people be so stupid?
Surprise, surprise.. they are. They soon got a bit smarter two or three months later asking: “if you’re a girl, why is your name Zak?” But at that point, things were too complicated.
Everyone knows how a name in any game, not just Red Faction, can earn respect and carry a player. I didn’t want to give up all the respect I earned. I didn’t just want to throw it down the trash. At that point I had already gained trust of very good, respect RF players. Cujo, Mr. Fluffers. I didn’t want to give all of that up. Am I really all to blame?
I had to think of something quick! How could I possibly convince people that Zak was a girl’s name? How? I know now that shouldn’t have been my concern. My concern should have been telling the truth to the friends I have made and perhaps gaining their respect by telling the truth. I was afraid though. I didn’t want to lose their friendship and defiantly not their trust.
So here is where all the Censored started.
“I am a girl.. ZAK is just my initials backwards” What Censored that was!!! What the Hell was I thinking? Why am I lying? Why? What will this gain me? I thought to myself that it won’t gain me any thing. But it will keep my trust and friendship with the people I had already made. So they asked me my name.
So I took the name of my current girlfriend, a name that I thought was beautiful for the middle name.. and there is really only one last name that could start with a “Z”
Kristi Annette Ziggler
So my name was officially changed from “Zak (D.a.w.G) to Kristi (D.a.w.G)
So I kept that going very well. The clan D.a.w.G died. So I, Kristi, joined the clan Voltz. Voltz was already a “friendship gang” in the town I live in. All my friends were Voltz members, so they played the game Red Faction and they decided to make a clan Voltz. The clan was never that big, but we had fun and we all liked eachother a lot. The members were Cyphis (My friend Sam) Seiryuu (Another Sam but not related), Dingus (Brother of the first Sam [Cyphis]) Gotya, Goochem and of course yours truly, Kristi.
The name of Kristi was officially burned into the Red Faction community so the name <Voltz>Kristi was my official title.
Then, under the name of Kristi, I got mad at the clan SmK (Squad of Mystic Knights). So I made up another identity (Achilles) and joined SmK. *[SmK]* Achilles was my name for that clan. After about a week I gained rcon under that name and Kristi went in their server and banned all the members.
I don’t know why I did that. I look back on it now and I have NO idea why I did it. I wish I never did it, because in all honesty the people from SmK (Now BAW*((() were very cool.
So I’ll skip ahead to the present time. At this point in history I have gained the respect of so many people. Respect, loyalty, trust and even some love. I couldn’t just say “Hey! I’m a guy!”
So a myspace was made for Kristi and I had to find a person who was willing to give me pictures of her. So I chose my cousin who was more than willing to take on the role of Ms. Ziggler.
That’s why I saw an opportunity to poke my head in, The real me. So I went under the name of Cupid (Long story)
And every thing was perfect. The LIE was perfect. I just had to say “Yeah he’s my cousin that’s why he’s here all the time”
I was in so much Censored at this point it wasn’t even funny.
I had a freaking credit card linked to my bank account with her name on it…
WHAT THE F IS WRONG WITH ME?
Then I (Zak) Met a really cool guy on the internet, whose name will not be revealed for privacy purposes. We were really cool online I talked to him just like one of my buddies. He helped me with servers and computer stuff and I felt bad since I couldn’t return the favor. We even talked about him coming down here and hitting up the clubs of Cincinnati together. Which, if you’re reading this, I’m still up for.
However, I should have known someone would find out. I Was surprised that it was only one person and he was willing to keep his mouth shut. I wish he didn’t. I wish he just went to every forum he could and just tell everyone the Kristi and Cupid are the same person!! Then I would at least have his respect maybe.
But no. I was willing to lost the friendship I gained with him to keep the identity of a person who doesn’t exsist.
And now. About a year later.
The clan Voltz is back up and running and with a eye on a very promising horizon. We have quite a few members. None of whom would of joined if it weren’t for Kristi. The current members are Fossil, Pyro, SikiK Default, Alex, Megatron and XtaC. I know once they and all my friends read this. They’ll probably quit and hate me.
But now I have so many friends Including Pyro, Hapa, Luna Cujo and countless others that just know the name of Kristi.
I am sorry, my friends. I don’t want to lose your friendship.
This is why I am writing this letter. I want your forgiveness.
I want my friends that I have made both as Cupid and Kristi to be my friends forever.
I want the clan Voltz to actually prosper. Not just die out like what I expect.
I want your forgiveness, Bear and Wicked.
I want the guy I met online to be cool with me again.
I’m SICK of having to change my name for certain people. Making up lies.
I won’t lie anymore.
