You can't be affectionate towards a girl if you're gay, though.
Therefore, I couldn't possibly be gay. Bi, maybe, but seeing as how I don't like dicks, or find guys attractive, I couldn't possibly be bi, nor gay for that matter.

Dear Alpha, as I am typing this I am almost positive that it will be so far above your level of understanding that in the years to come you will worship it as though it is godsend. It is not. However it is from me, and that is far enough above that it might as well be godsend. Anyways, here it goes. Being on the computer for only 1 1/2 years (that's a fraction... you won't ever learn it because it is too complicated for you) is no excuse for typing like a retard. If you are, however, dyslexic as the Mighty Word has conceived, then I will forgive you for that, if not for taking the effort to use a fucking spell check. I hate you. If you weren't gay I would call for you to be strung up on a tree to rot. Since you are gay, that would look like a hate crime, and thus only fashionable in the Nineteenth and Twentieth centuries where people were fun. Now, I will move my point along, and I beg the pardon of any man women or child who I offend, other then anyone reading this. You are Fourteen. Any conspiracy theories that you painstakingly type out, using every ounce of wit you can muster, are useless. Why? Partly because you are terrible at typing, partly because you haven't even experienced the life you claim will be in ruins, and partly because you are from Oklahoma. I am typing this in the hope that you will use every once of wit you have (and you will probably need more then that) to type out a response to this. I don't expect much from you, I just hope you spell check your words. Most likely 2/3rds of your words.

Sincerely Insincere,
Sleipnar

(Postscript. You Fail.)

ROLF...fuck you